Last minute anxiety.

Last days anxiety started settling in. 

Questions started to pop in my head: "Why did  I applied to this?", "What was I thinking?", "What am I going to do?", for the first time since I thought of this I feel unsure. 

But then, yesterday someone called me on the phone thanked me for doing this. I replyed a little bit ashamed that was anything to be thanked. But then I thought of a poem I read five years ago, when my journey as a volunteer started and It reminded me of why I was doing this...

It’s not for the money, it’s not for fame

and it’s not for any personal gain.

It's for love of fellow man,

It’s just to lend a helping hand.

It’s just to give the tithe of self.

That’s something you can’t buy with wealth.

It’s not the medals worn with pride.

It's just for that feeling deep inside.

It’s that reward down in your heart.

It’s the feeling that you’ve been a part

Of helping others far and near,

That makes you a VOLUNTEER

Despite working as a volunteer for a long time now, I haven't ever done something internationally and I have doubts and I feel unsure cause this implies leaving my confort zone and that's a hard thing to do, but I am doing this because I am sick and tired of sitting on the couch while listening to the news. I am sick and tired of seeing teams of volunteers begging for help and not going.

I see pictures of the team I am going to stay with and their work inspires me, they are doing something really great and I just really hope that I have something good to give over there, that I have some valuable contribute to take with me, that I can help someone. 

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Nos últimos a ansiedade da partida apareceu. 

Comecei a perguntar a mim mesma "Porque é que me inscrevi para isto?", "No que é que estava a pensar?" e "O que é que eu vou fazer?" e pela primeira vez desde que pensei nisto senti-me realmente insegura.

Mas ontem alguém me ligou e agradeceu o que estou a fazer, na altura apenas respondi envergonhada que não havia nada para agradecer. Mas com esta chamada lembrei-me de um poema que li há cerca de 5 anos quando o meu percurso como voluntária começou e relembrei-me da razão de querer fazer isto:

It’s not for the money, it’s not for fame

and it’s not for any personal gain.

It's for love of fellow man,

It’s just to lend a helping hand.

It’s just to give the tithe of self.

That’s something you can’t buy with wealth.

It’s not the medals worn with pride.

It's just for that feeling deep inside.

It’s that reward down in your heart.

It’s the feeling that you’ve been a part

Of helping others far and near,

That makes you a VOLUNTEER

Apesar de fazer voluntariado há já muito tempo nunca fiz nada a nível internacional, e tenho dúvidas e sinto-me insegura porque isto implica sair da minha zona de conforto, o que não é nada fácil, mas estou farta de ficar só a ver as notícias, de ver pedidos de equipas de voluntários a implorarem por mais ajuda e não ir.
Vejo fotos da equipa com quem vou ficar e o trabalho deles inspira-me, eles estão a criar algo grandioso e a ajudar muita gente e eu só espero conseguir contribuir, conseguir ajudar, só espero ter algo de bom para levar comigo para lá...